Embracing change

I thought I was stuck in a rut, and always feeling lousy about it. This feeling had crept into every corner of my life, and it did make me miserable.
Until I got a wake-up call yesterday. Like a reminder or something. I got to stop this now or it will consume my life. Things aren't always gonna be better, and it's high time I started learning to deal with stuff like this. 'Bad, emotional stuff'.
So this person came to mind, this 'role model'. The way she behaves in the show, exuding confidence at any moment, and always having a way to deal with problems, perhaps this is something to emulate.
So I can start becoming a more 'confident' me. Believing in myself.
I don't know how long this 'drive' is going to last, but hopefully, long enough.

卡片

卡片收在柜子里，装满了多少年来的回忆与祝福。那是永恒的，挥之不去的。

有时趁着家里单独一人，趁着当下宁静的时候，会打开抽屉，再一次阅读卡片。看了，真的钩起好多回忆。

第一次收到卡片，那在中一。记得级任老师规定，每位学生生日当天，都得在班上宣布，且由其他同学为他唱生日歌祝寿。另外，有一个由几人组成的委员会，负责做卡片给生日的同学，之后再交给老师签名，以表加上她的一份祝福。虽然没有太多的祝语，或是设计，但还是同学的一份心意。所以，还是开心地收下了。

中学时期，朋友不多。算是只有几个人会主动替我庆生吧。中三那年，换了当时蛮流行的电话，朋友便以电话的图案作为封面，写了一张卡送我。那是第一次收到算是较为‘个人化’的卡片吧，因为里头写了朋友的祝贺语。很感动。那张卡比收到的礼物更难能可贵。

后来，长大了。进入了理工学院，后来又去实习。可能冥冥中自有安排，让我在学校认识一群好友，又让我换了实习工作，在新的公司交接到一群‘古灵精怪’的同事。这几年来，过了生日，到中国浸入学习，后来又当兵，最近刚过上21岁生日。感谢朋友近年来送的卡片；因为他们的字迹，让原本平凡的卡片，变得无价了。

或许，这种人与人之间的感情很可贵，所以我执意圣诞或是生日，都要送上卡片，且是亲自‘做’的。真的，它比任何礼物，再昂贵的厚礼，都显得可贵、无价。

Year 1

Afternoons are the best times to reflect and ponder. Especially when time is limited and you're at home with nothing better to do. Sometimes, because of national service commitment, I just found myself with lots of free time at home. Like now.

It's been a year since enlistement. Almost. Much has happened; much has changed. Since the moment the letter came, I felt like my life had just experienced some changes. Big or small, from then on, life wasn't gonna be the same anymore.

For about a month, I gave myself every opportunity to be happy, stay happy. It was after all the last few weeks of my civilian life before I embarked on a whole new journey, one filled with trepidation, anxiety and unknown.

I must say the past year has brought about in me many changes. Times when I felt I could be doing something else outside instead of being in camp, I found myself wondering, what exactly can I do? And if I do have my weekdays back, how do I know I won't be wasting time outside roaming the streets or watching shows all day?

So as surprising as I find myself saying, I owe it to this experience that allowed me to grow and learn. Sometimes we do hate the things we do, but ultimately, we look back, and we thank those who made it possible for us to mature as humans. Now, as we embark onto the next phase of this journey, I hope we can still continue to grow and learn, so when we look back next year, we can proudly say that we have done well.
 



Birthday note

 May always brings to me a sense of uniqueness, like it was a special month all by itself, bringing surprise and joy each day. Perhaps it was because my birthday falls on this month, or maybe it's just a reminiscent feeling of last year's pre-enlistment nostalgia. Anyway, it just holds a special place in my heart.

As for turning 21, it's more like a formality to me rather than a reason to celebrate in a grand way. Of course, one only turns 21 once, so it's reason enough to remember this way with a huge party or something.

I guess gathering with a few friends is enough for me. It might not seem

like the best way to some, but well, I'm sure we all had fun last night.

And of course, to my family, for always making me feel special.

This weekend has been a blast for me.